The Sopranos - Closed Captions - #17

Episode #17 Transcript
Commendatori
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©1999 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.
< < Page 1 Page 2

(Italian) I think it was the fuckin' shrimp hors d'oeuvres on the plane. Get some immodium. You want to get made, this is no fucking way. Tony wants us to hang with nino, work out the dock facilities. I hope we get some spare time. I'm gonna see that fuckin' volcano. (Background music) oh, ho, gratzie. Hey. Hey.

(Andrea bocelli playing) this song, Jesus. Listen, I've been to Italy many times and really, you're not missing all that much. The amount of sexual harassment that I was subjected to. I went one time with my friend zane. Her, they didn't bother, me, they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Much less the whistling and the fucking hooting. It's not Italy. Do you remember angie bonpensiero? Angie belfiore married sal bonpensiero. Right, she's thinking of divorcing him. Halle-fucking-lujeh! Do you know them? No I don't know them, but to be married to a man like that. A man like what? The 'tude and the fucking medieval outlook. He is such adoring father though. Three beautiful kids they raised, who are now from a broken home. No sons I hope, three more of his ilk we don't need. He's very macho. Macho, no, try swaggering mama's boy, fucking hypocrites, shall we? Hypocrites? Carm, come on stop. Just stop. Is that how you see your brother? I thought we were talking about angie. I mean these OC. Pricks especially, with their goomahs and their prostitutes, emotional cripples. And they expect their wives to live like the fucking nuns at Mt. Carmel college. It's not that simple. Of course not. Madonna/whores is the full equation I believe. Clothes, appliances, houses. You are talking about me. About us. Caramela, no. I don't know. That a woman of your intelligence, is content to ask so little from life and from herself. I don't know, it's none of my business. Marriage is a holy sacrament. Okay. Family is a sacred institution. Roger. And you trying to fan the flames with richie aprile, of all people? Talk about old school. Carm, richie, because of his life experience in prison, he has a sensitivity to the plight of women. Oh my god! I am not even gonna touch that one. But you had me going for a while there, you really did. Oh Janice honey, I got to love ya.

Nice shot. I shank him. It's a man's club. I'll send you one your size. Whole set. So Tony, you don't mind me calling you Tony? What can I do for you? Well you can introduce me to the boss. You can talk to me. A fuckin' woman boss? So what do you want? Never happen in the states. Never. Our men kill each other. All my brothers, for example, they all got murdered. Or they go to prison. Rome has a war against us. But our men are in love to their mama. So being a woman is not-- come se dic', comes natural. We'll I'll be dipped in shit. You go around like your father's nursemaid. I am my father's nursemaid. Well if an old man carries the respect of troops, you keep him around. I did something like that myself. We're cousins. You hungry? I could eat.

So, you wanted to talk about business. Can I ask you a question? We not gonna pay the price on the Mercedes. Why do you save your toenail clippings? Why, you want them? If your enemy comes into possession of your nail, or your hair clippings, they can make the evil on you. I'm flattered you wouldn't trust me with your toenails, but can I pass without ruining the moment? I already burned them. Nobody gets them. Commendatori. Bon giorno. Cocksuckers. A lot of guys today, they come soft living in America. One in five guys, they're a fucking rat. You can't find anybody over there that believes in the old ways, keeping silent, putting the family first. So you want Naples' guys. Fucking clairvoyant over here. That way I get guys with no ties to anybody over there .They belong only to me, 110 percent. (Italian) what? What do I get? Well, you get an obvious advantage to havin' your guys in that end. How much you pay me for this man? Pay you? Your profitability is gonna go way up. What are you thinking? Furio to start. Furio! (Yelling in Italian) back up, take it easy. I'm going to give you one of my best men. And all I get is a bunch of numbers in air. With all due respect, I think you're being a little short-sighted on this. He's my cousin, he's one of my best men. Forget about it, it's not going to happen. I'm asking you nice. Or what? Hey look, I don't even think you understand. I want you to talk to your husband about this. My husband, fuck you! He is never coming back. So you have to fucking deal with me! Up your ass.

Oh, you're up. Where's my other belt? You look under the bed? Fuck, yeah. I just came from the doctor's office. Yeah. The biopsy came back negative. Yeah good, I'll be back later.

(Background music) (knocking) pussy. Yeah. What the fuck you doing here? I was in the neighborhood. That bachelor party, they're looking for some entertainment. A sett', you want coffee? Nah, I'm good. C'mon, it's on the boil. (Teapot whistling) (knocking) yeah.

Boss say to tell you one hour, manigamo, dinner. Manigamo, I want to get the fuck out of here. You drive me to the city? Sure, absolutely. I have to ask. What's it like, working for a woman? Whaddya gonna do a woman boss! In America you don't have? No. What? Ayy! Tony! Tony! Yeah, come down to eat. Jesus Christ, is that all your people do? The lunch we had would jam a wood chipper. We need to finish our business. I said all I'm gonna say. Alright, I'm coming down. (Door slamming) (female) vincenzo! (Barking) indigestion, right? Cheers. So what is this place? My father was born in this house. Later we make the new one. You're born here, and your kids are raised next door. That's a nice thing. You take good care of your father. What are you going do, send him to a ospizio? Hey, listen... (Something drops on ground) (Italian) this one has to stay with until he goes to sleep. I'll take you back in the morning. (Italian) goodnight.

It was horrible what he did. I might as well have fucking cancer. So what did the lawyer say today? He said I have a good case, we're filing Tuesday. So your gonna take Monday to think, that's good. Monday's a Jewish holiday. Oh. I'm finished thinking. Hell, I thought myself into fuckin' nonexistence. Well, you are not nonexistent, and pussy doesn't see you that way. Fuck what he sees! Not anymore, it's what I see. God gave me more years, carmela. This very morning god gave me a gift, and I will use that gift. I won't waste it, like I wasted 24 fucking years with this man. You know what the church says about divorce. Oh please, let the pope live with him. Well, what about the kids? They're 19, 21, and 24, it's time we all grew up. Kevin is just starting his sophomore year at college. Aren't you worried he's gonna realize, the two stayed together waiting for him to leave? Long as he don't loose his privileges at our house down the shore, that's all Kevin cares about. He's so fond of his father, that's all I'm saying. And Terri and Scott with the money problems, and the pregnancy, this is really the example you want to set, when your daughter is struggling very hard to keep her new marriage in one piece? Why you workin' this hard, carmela? Why? For all of the reasons I just said. Because you're my friend, I'm not even sayin' don't. I'm just sayin' at the very least, you got to ask yourself these questions. Terri, they're not even sure she's gonna be able to have children of her own. Sal began to cry when he heard that. Oh, honey. In the end, I know you're not gonna leave him. I know you won't do that.

(Singing in Italian) commendatori, bon giorno. I'm from America. Hey cara mia, on the way back bring me one of those plums from the breakfast tray. Cosa? Never mind. I got to hand it to ya. Great fruit you got here. Che bella fruti. None of them fucking steroids. Come se dic', steroids? Steroide. There ya go. Who said you're not a great conversationalist? Ya fuckin' twat. There's my little fragolin'. Ah-ah. Ah. Hey, the customer is always right. Did I say you should leave? You know my grandfather was napoletan', gran-pappa mio. He went to America in 1910. Three thousand miles. Un ragazzo, un piccolo bambino, all by himself. Yep, i'm napoletan'. Me and tony both. Some of the guys are sigilian'. Sigilian', se. Hard-headed bastards, am I right? So, what part of Naples you from? (Italian) ariani el pino. Ariani el pino? Your shitting me! That's where my grandfather's from! Ariani el pino, se'. We come from the same town. Our families probably knew each other.

The island back there is called progeda. Madonn', look at this. (Italian) got to bring my kids back here. Show 'em all this. In the olden time the sibylla of cumae was the second most important oracle after Delphi. I thought Delphi was in Greece. The Greeks were here. Way before the Romans, and before the Greeks there were somebody else, and before them somebody else. "The rulers would come from across the ancient world, "to hear the sibyl's predictions of the future. She would sit inside the cave inhaling gases." I think I dated this broad. "Possibly volcanic though no longer active, "and would speak in a voice not her own, delivering unto them their fates." Let's go into the cave. The sibyl sat way back there, see that shaft of light? Some fucking trip. The sibyl were very beautiful, in most case. Oh yeah, got a premonition for me? You, you're no problem to read. You are your own worst enemy. Oh, is that right? Tell you right now you remind me of somebody from back home. Not your wife, your girlfriend? Oh, I got one, to answer your question. But no, not her. But, she's someone you want to fuck. I can tell. Oh really. You know, everybody's their own worst enemy. So maybe your psychic power has been overrated a little bit. You don't want to fuck her? You don't want to fuck me? Yeah, I do. But I don't shit where I eat. Que cosa? Non fare la merdo dove... It's bad business, we're in business. (Italian) not at those price. Alright. You give me furio and I'll work down the price of the cars to 85. Posto, okay. I get more guys, on my timetable. (Italian) 75 thousand. Okay.

Hey, thanks! So, how the fuck was it? Fabulous, I felt right at home. That's great. Real good business-wise. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't been. Especially any Italians. Someday. Don't put it off another second, Pus. Alright, I fucking heard you. Where the fuck is Christopher? He's in the duty free buying a gift for Ade. Four days, he's a block away from the greatest shopping district in the world. Why the fuck didn't he think of it then? (Paulie) a broad. He found out who got eight great tomatoes in that little bitty can. Oh fuck him, leave him here. Go, let's drive. What's the matter, Tony? Nothin'. I tell you we do real good business-wise? I got fuckin' double on those cars. Here he comes. Hey, c'mon!

(Andrea Bocelli playing) hello, I'm home!

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Episode #17 Transcript Commendatori Captioned by HBO Communications Center, ©1999 Home Box Office, a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P. < < Page 1 Page 2
(Italian) I think it was the fuckin' shrimp hors d'oeuvres on the plane. Get some immodium. You want to get made, this is no fucking way. Tony wants us to hang with nino, work out the dock facilities. I hope we get some spare time. I'm gonna see that fuckin' volcano. (Background music) oh, ho, gratzie. Hey. Hey.
(Andrea bocelli playing) this song, Jesus. Listen, I've been to Italy many times and really, you're not missing all that much. The amount of sexual harassment that I was subjected to. I went one time with my friend zane. Her, they didn't bother, me, they couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Much less the whistling and the fucking hooting. It's not Italy. Do you remember angie bonpensiero? Angie belfiore married sal bonpensiero. Right, she's thinking of divorcing him. Halle-fucking-lujeh! Do you know them? No I don't know them, but to be married to a man like that. A man like what? The 'tude and the fucking medieval outlook. He is such adoring father though. Three beautiful kids they raised, who are now from a broken home. No sons I hope, three more of his ilk we don't need. He's very macho. Macho, no, try swaggering mama's boy, fucking hypocrites, shall we? Hypocrites? Carm, come on stop. Just stop. Is that how you see your brother? I thought we were talking about angie. I mean these OC. Pricks especially, with their goomahs and their prostitutes, emotional cripples. And they expect their wives to live like the fucking nuns at Mt. Carmel college. It's not that simple. Of course not. Madonna/whores is the full equation I believe. Clothes, appliances, houses. You are talking about me. About us. Caramela, no. I don't know. That a woman of your intelligence, is content to ask so little from life and from herself. I don't know, it's none of my business. Marriage is a holy sacrament. Okay. Family is a sacred institution. Roger. And you trying to fan the flames with richie aprile, of all people? Talk about old school. Carm, richie, because of his life experience in prison, he has a sensitivity to the plight of women. Oh my god! I am not even gonna touch that one. But you had me going for a while there, you really did. Oh Janice honey, I got to love ya.
Nice shot. I shank him. It's a man's club. I'll send you one your size. Whole set. So Tony, you don't mind me calling you Tony? What can I do for you? Well you can introduce me to the boss. You can talk to me. A fuckin' woman boss? So what do you want? Never happen in the states. Never. Our men kill each other. All my brothers, for example, they all got murdered. Or they go to prison. Rome has a war against us. But our men are in love to their mama. So being a woman is not-- come se dic', comes natural. We'll I'll be dipped in shit. You go around like your father's nursemaid. I am my father's nursemaid. Well if an old man carries the respect of troops, you keep him around. I did something like that myself. We're cousins. You hungry? I could eat.
So, you wanted to talk about business. Can I ask you a question? We not gonna pay the price on the Mercedes. Why do you save your toenail clippings? Why, you want them? If your enemy comes into possession of your nail, or your hair clippings, they can make the evil on you. I'm flattered you wouldn't trust me with your toenails, but can I pass without ruining the moment? I already burned them. Nobody gets them. Commendatori. Bon giorno. Cocksuckers. A lot of guys today, they come soft living in America. One in five guys, they're a fucking rat. You can't find anybody over there that believes in the old ways, keeping silent, putting the family first. So you want Naples' guys. Fucking clairvoyant over here. That way I get guys with no ties to anybody over there .They belong only to me, 110 percent. (Italian) what? What do I get? Well, you get an obvious advantage to havin' your guys in that end. How much you pay me for this man? Pay you? Your profitability is gonna go way up. What are you thinking? Furio to start. Furio! (Yelling in Italian) back up, take it easy. I'm going to give you one of my best men. And all I get is a bunch of numbers in air. With all due respect, I think you're being a little short-sighted on this. He's my cousin, he's one of my best men. Forget about it, it's not going to happen. I'm asking you nice. Or what? Hey look, I don't even think you understand. I want you to talk to your husband about this. My husband, fuck you! He is never coming back. So you have to fucking deal with me! Up your ass.
Oh, you're up. Where's my other belt? You look under the bed? Fuck, yeah. I just came from the doctor's office. Yeah. The biopsy came back negative. Yeah good, I'll be back later.
(Background music) (knocking) pussy. Yeah. What the fuck you doing here? I was in the neighborhood. That bachelor party, they're looking for some entertainment. A sett', you want coffee? Nah, I'm good. C'mon, it's on the boil. (Teapot whistling) (knocking) yeah.
Boss say to tell you one hour, manigamo, dinner. Manigamo, I want to get the fuck out of here. You drive me to the city? Sure, absolutely. I have to ask. What's it like, working for a woman? Whaddya gonna do a woman boss! In America you don't have? No. What? Ayy! Tony! Tony! Yeah, come down to eat. Jesus Christ, is that all your people do? The lunch we had would jam a wood chipper. We need to finish our business. I said all I'm gonna say. Alright, I'm coming down. (Door slamming) (female) vincenzo! (Barking) indigestion, right? Cheers. So what is this place? My father was born in this house. Later we make the new one. You're born here, and your kids are raised next door. That's a nice thing. You take good care of your father. What are you going do, send him to a ospizio? Hey, listen... (Something drops on ground) (Italian) this one has to stay with until he goes to sleep. I'll take you back in the morning. (Italian) goodnight.
It was horrible what he did. I might as well have fucking cancer. So what did the lawyer say today? He said I have a good case, we're filing Tuesday. So your gonna take Monday to think, that's good. Monday's a Jewish holiday. Oh. I'm finished thinking. Hell, I thought myself into fuckin' nonexistence. Well, you are not nonexistent, and pussy doesn't see you that way. Fuck what he sees! Not anymore, it's what I see. God gave me more years, carmela. This very morning god gave me a gift, and I will use that gift. I won't waste it, like I wasted 24 fucking years with this man. You know what the church says about divorce. Oh please, let the pope live with him. Well, what about the kids? They're 19, 21, and 24, it's time we all grew up. Kevin is just starting his sophomore year at college. Aren't you worried he's gonna realize, the two stayed together waiting for him to leave? Long as he don't loose his privileges at our house down the shore, that's all Kevin cares about. He's so fond of his father, that's all I'm saying. And Terri and Scott with the money problems, and the pregnancy, this is really the example you want to set, when your daughter is struggling very hard to keep her new marriage in one piece? Why you workin' this hard, carmela? Why? For all of the reasons I just said. Because you're my friend, I'm not even sayin' don't. I'm just sayin' at the very least, you got to ask yourself these questions. Terri, they're not even sure she's gonna be able to have children of her own. Sal began to cry when he heard that. Oh, honey. In the end, I know you're not gonna leave him. I know you won't do that.
(Singing in Italian) commendatori, bon giorno. I'm from America. Hey cara mia, on the way back bring me one of those plums from the breakfast tray. Cosa? Never mind. I got to hand it to ya. Great fruit you got here. Che bella fruti. None of them fucking steroids. Come se dic', steroids? Steroide. There ya go. Who said you're not a great conversationalist? Ya fuckin' twat. There's my little fragolin'. Ah-ah. Ah. Hey, the customer is always right. Did I say you should leave? You know my grandfather was napoletan', gran-pappa mio. He went to America in 1910. Three thousand miles. Un ragazzo, un piccolo bambino, all by himself. Yep, i'm napoletan'. Me and tony both. Some of the guys are sigilian'. Sigilian', se. Hard-headed bastards, am I right? So, what part of Naples you from? (Italian) ariani el pino. Ariani el pino? Your shitting me! That's where my grandfather's from! Ariani el pino, se'. We come from the same town. Our families probably knew each other.
The island back there is called progeda. Madonn', look at this. (Italian) got to bring my kids back here. Show 'em all this. In the olden time the sibylla of cumae was the second most important oracle after Delphi. I thought Delphi was in Greece. The Greeks were here. Way before the Romans, and before the Greeks there were somebody else, and before them somebody else. "The rulers would come from across the ancient world, "to hear the sibyl's predictions of the future. She would sit inside the cave inhaling gases." I think I dated this broad. "Possibly volcanic though no longer active, "and would speak in a voice not her own, delivering unto them their fates." Let's go into the cave. The sibyl sat way back there, see that shaft of light? Some fucking trip. The sibyl were very beautiful, in most case. Oh yeah, got a premonition for me? You, you're no problem to read. You are your own worst enemy. Oh, is that right? Tell you right now you remind me of somebody from back home. Not your wife, your girlfriend? Oh, I got one, to answer your question. But no, not her. But, she's someone you want to fuck. I can tell. Oh really. You know, everybody's their own worst enemy. So maybe your psychic power has been overrated a little bit. You don't want to fuck her? You don't want to fuck me? Yeah, I do. But I don't shit where I eat. Que cosa? Non fare la merdo dove... It's bad business, we're in business. (Italian) not at those price. Alright. You give me furio and I'll work down the price of the cars to 85. Posto, okay. I get more guys, on my timetable. (Italian) 75 thousand. Okay.
Hey, thanks! So, how the fuck was it? Fabulous, I felt right at home. That's great. Real good business-wise. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't been. Especially any Italians. Someday. Don't put it off another second, Pus. Alright, I fucking heard you. Where the fuck is Christopher? He's in the duty free buying a gift for Ade. Four days, he's a block away from the greatest shopping district in the world. Why the fuck didn't he think of it then? (Paulie) a broad. He found out who got eight great tomatoes in that little bitty can. Oh fuck him, leave him here. Go, let's drive. What's the matter, Tony? Nothin'. I tell you we do real good business-wise? I got fuckin' double on those cars. Here he comes. Hey, c'mon! (Andrea Bocelli playing) hello, I'm home!
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