The Sopranos - Closed Captions - #15 - Do Not Resuscitate Page 2

Episode #15 Transcript
Do Not Resuscitate
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©2000 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.
< < Page 1 Page 2
Images are not thumbnails,
so fuhgeddaboutit!

Thanks for this, aunt Par, it's hard to find people over 25 to drive with. Just don't let them know you drove me to buy some pot, which should be legal. It's the only things that works for these hands. Med, wasn't that a stop sign? I just hate the way he thinks he can talk to you. It's so obnoxious. He's insecure. He's afraid to leave new jersey and he's threatened by anybody who's broken free. He's too pathetic. How about grandma in that rehab center? I know, I'm dying to go over and see her, but I've had so much homework, plus all this community service you have to do to even think about getting into a decent college. I bring food to homeless shelters. You know grandma pretty well, don't you? I guess. What is she into? I don't know, negativity? Seriously, there must be something that gives her pleasure. Isn't there anything she likes doing? My dad used to try and find her these old records, these sisters. Oh, the de castro sisters, right. The andrews sisters would have been too easy. He used to bring her that mario lasagna guy. Oh, yuck, I hated that shit.

Your glasses will be ready on thursday. (Female) thursday, that's good. Did you see me on tv? You were on tv? What show? The evening news. Oh, yeah. What about it? How'd I look? Be honest. You looked, you know, like you. You looked good. I didn't like the way I looked. Maybe I should get new frames, what do you think? What's wrong with them? How much those frames set you back? Insurance pays, I never see the bill. Nice country. I got cataracts. My father told me "never get old." I should have listened to him. Yeah. A chinaman goes to see the eye doctor, after the exam the doctor says, "i know why you're having trouble." Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor says, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a rincoln continental." You don't get it? I get it, he drives lincoln. What? (Male) excuse me, where's the men's room? (Female) through the doors to the left.

(Pavarotti singing) you're awake. What-- what is that? That music? "Non ti scordar di me." Pavarotti. Did you bring it? I never forgot how much you liked a good tenor. Remember when we saw mario lanza on tv? You and me and daddy on the sofa, watching ed sullivan. I don't think we ever missed a sunday. Oh, my god, my children. Music hath charms, ma. Thank god, huh?

I think it's time for you to start to seriously consider salads. What do you mean? What do I mean. Get off my car before you flip it over, you fat fuck. Junior wants to know when. Tomorrow morning. We're short a couple of guys, so make sure you're there. Consider it exercise. "Fat fuck." Why don't you look in the mirror some time, you insensitive cocksucker.

Tony, we're sitting down! Ma, DNA, it's invisible, right? But guess how many nucleotides are in each strand. Just tell her. A hundred million. Wow, that's amazing. She knows what time we eat. I don't want you setting a place for her if she's not here. Anthony jr., Want to do the honors? Bless us our lord on the gifts we're about to receive... Hello! You guys started without me. Good, great. Bless us our lord, amen. Janice, you know what time we eat. If you're gonna be late, call, or you're not gonna eat. Don't send me to bed hungry, daddy. Everybody, guess who passed her driving test today? She learned from the best. (Janice) go, girl! I had to parallel park behind this van and I was so nervous. The guy was a real dork with a clipboard and everything. Oh, wow, fascist martinet. Salsice, janice? Oh, I forgot, you don't eat pork... No. ... In that way. Oh, I get it. There's nothing to get, she's a vegetarian.

I missed the fireflies out west. That's why I moved out here. Little bit of nature. When you were in seattle, you ever drive by jimmy hendrix's house? Mm-mmm. You know, tony, I know it's not your favorite subject, but... We had some really great news about ma at the hospital today. Her rehab therapist says she's making tremendous strides and it's not gonna be long before they release her. How can she make tremendous strides when there's nothing wrong with her in the first place? It's called face-saving therapy. The patient has to believe that they're getting therapy. Believe me, medicare's not gonna pay for it if it's not as necessary as real, would they? And the taxpayer foots the bill. It's not much longer now. But she's gonna need a place to stay. She's out on the street. Tony, it is her house. Dead people don't have houses. Daddy bought that house. Tell you what... Take her back to green grove. What, the nursing home? It's a retirement community. You know I don't have that kind of money. Fuck you.

(Protesters chanting) you should've seen the look on that blimp's face when I told him he had to be here today. Bacala's always been a lazy bastard. You can't get nobody good anymore. They're either on fucking drugs or compromised with the law, or they're young and don't listen to orders. Please. It's all "me, me, me". I hope you don't feel that way about me, tony. It's just this back. You done plenty. You paid your dues. That's tony soprano. What the fuck? Hey, tony! This is what i'm talking about, motherfucker. Am I supposed to be seen here, you fucking idiots?! Now we look like jerkoffs. (Protesters yelling) get out of the way! When do we want 'em?! We want to talk to your foreman. You want to talk to the foreskin? You a wise-ass motherfucker. Keep your mother off the streets and I won't fuck her. (Yelling) justice... Motherfucker, c'mon! (Truck honking)

Hi, ma. Oh, nicholas antonelli. Dead at age 73, of heart failure. Mmm... So, ma... You're gonna be getting out of here soon. Want to go home? Home? Back to the house? My house? Uh-huh. No, I don't think so, I'll go back to the other place. To the nursing home? That's for people who don't have anybody to look after them. Oh, it's not that bad. And they give you fresh towels every day. Barbara said you hated it. It's too much trouble. No, ma, you can't go back there. Why not? Because. Because, it's dangerous there. What are you talking about? The owner... Is missing. Mr. Capuano? They suspect foul play. Yeah. (Coughing) ma. Ma, you okay? Nurse! It's my mother. What is it? What's the matter? Are you okay, mrs. Soprano? Oh. Take a deep breath. Breathe. Why do they make cookies that way? You scared me, ma. Would you just stop it, stop it! Just give me a minute, go, go, stop hovering.
Perhaps this is a good time to talk about this. There's no emergency provision for your mother on file. I tried to talk to her about a dnr and she got very agitated. DNR? "Do not resuscitate." It's to save the family a lot of anguish and decisions at a difficult time, when there is no quality of life. (Livia) janice, where are my glasses? I can't find the tissues, janice!

I'm sorry, tony, but the hospital is gonna need a decision on this. Auxiliary "b", what the fuck? It you're gonna have power of attorney, tony, you're gonna have to act like one. Who gives a fuck, DNR, no DNR? Yeah, okay, great, so then what happens when she goes into a coma and they have to keep her alive with tubes and machines, because you won't sign the dnr? What?! When she becomes a vegetable she's not gonna give a fuck about anything! To deprive your mother of a place of live. To deprive me my chance to make peace with my mother. You know what, janice? Take her, you can have her. The two of you in that house, you deserve each other. It'll be worth it just to watch. It'll be like whatever happened to baby janice over there. (Tony) I'll give you your fucking DNR!

Mom, I can't find the keys. Keys to what, to the car? You got a driver's license, not a license to go carousing around on a school night. Mother, I was going to take anthony to visit grandma. You said we can visit her. If you want to drive us, fine. Now you want to visit grandma? (A.J.) Can we mom? No funny business. You go to the hospital and back. The level of trust in this family, check the mileage if you want to. God.
You go ahead, I'll come down later. Why, where are you going? Hunter's back in "eating disorders" upstairs. No, that's not fair. I'm just gonna say hello. I'm telling. I was gonna let you drive in the IBM parking lot this sunday. (Cheering on tv) look who's here! Anthony, come over here. Give your grandma a kiss. Oh... Ah... I thought you were janice. She comes over everyday to play pinochle with me. Daughters take better care of their mothers, that's why. She's home, I think. You didn't ride over here on your bicycle in the dark? No, meadow drove me. Meadow? Well, where is she? I don't know. She's another one. They don't care what happens to you, johnny. They stick you away somewhere and they forget you ever existed. I guess. Have a torrone. No, I don't like those italian candies. Go ahead, take one. He's not even washing his hands. (Male on tv) you know the thing about louisiana food, is that it's not really spicy, it's just well seasoned. Don't we season everything down there? Absolutely. So what we're gonna do is I got a little cayenne pepper... Grandma, what's DNR? Who? DNR, it's initials, like, I had to do this report on dna, but I heard dad and aunt parvati talking about your dnr. So, is that like similar? Aunt? You mean, janice? Janice? They were talking about me? About your DNR. 'Cause that's what's confusing, like, DNA, everybody's got that. She thinks I should have a DNR? Or that dad should give it to you or something. Because what if you went into a coma or something? But DNA doesn't prevent coma's, does it? I don't know, I gotta do this report by monday.

Very good, livia, that's perfect. I know my alphabet. Guess what, ma? I got great news. Tony's not gonna sell the house. When you get released, we're gonna take you back home. Really? Yeah. And I'm gonna live with you. Why? So you cannot resuscitate me? So I can what? Oh, I seen that movie with richard widmark. Movie, ma? Oh, mrs. Soprano. No, take this one. She gets her ballet shoes, she sells them and she takes the money to newark, and she buys amphetamines. She was a child then. I think you should go live with your daughter, mrs. Soprano. I think I'm gonna leave all my money to you, honey. What are you talking about, money? I've gotta catch up on some charts. Janice, what'd I tell you last week? Where'd I put my money? You know, this is very important. I must have put it somewhere. Oh, c'mon, settimia. No, you don't fool me. I know what you're thinking about. My name's janice. Janice, ma. You named me. It's something else you threw away of mine. Are you sure? I didn't tell you where I put that money? Let's not worry about that. Let's just get you better so you can go home and I can take good care of you. And if it's there... We'll find it.
(Humming) your sister's cunt!

(Gospel singing) that was wonderful reverend,thank you. Now you call us if you need anything. Thank you. Goodnight. What's all this? My father's passed away. I was just talking to him. He lived well. God blessed him with longevity. What are you gonna do? We all will have our time. My father didn't know about our business arrangement. He wouldn't have approved. Yeah, I got that feeling. Your moms and pop still here? My old man's been gone for years. Moms? She still around, she's too miserable to die. Their generation's almost all gone. When the last one goes, we become the old folks at the family functions. What are you talking about? We're still fucking kids, for crying out loud. Don't you believe it, tony. When the last one dies, it signals the beginning of the last stretch for us. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to go no time soon, it's just... Just feels funny now being... An elder. This is your end of the demonstration bust-up. Your guys went a little too far. Rasheen taylor almost lost an eye. How'd you do overall? Masserone gave me five no-shows. We whack it up two and a half each. Three-two. I should be looking for three-two my way. I got to kick upstairs to uncle junior. Two and a half each. All your guys are in on this shit. These protesters find out I'm lining my pockets with their blood, it's me they're crying for. Hell, no, three-two. I'll think about it. What'd you hear about the public school asbestos removal project over in kearney? Just waiting to see who gets the bid. Alright. Hey, rev... Sorry about your old man.
(Phone) hello. He did? Where is he know?

(Phone) hello? Oh, you're home. How dare you call here. I called now on purpose. Because I know Johnny's at work. Anthony, your son, Anthony. He harbors resentment against me and to this day I don't know what I did. I'm hanging up. I just want you to know what pennies I have, I leave to the children. Your children and barbara's children. I raised three children of my own. I did a pretty good job on two. They are all unhappy. Sure, you listen to that janice. Be very careful, because she's a real snake in the grass. She has no work ethic, why is that? If anything happens to me... Hello? Hello? Oh.

(Knocking) where is he? Did you call an ambulance? I don't need no fucking ambulance. (Bacala) see? Oh, yeah, sure, look at you. C'mon, we're going to the emergency room. Fuck that, I'm alright. Why don't we just go down there and make sure? Uncle jun. Hey... You still here? No fucking ambulance. I'll drive you, okay? Bacala will come. Yeah, sure. We'll all go. Help me up. Can you walk? I think he broke his hip. Oh, fuck you. Take it easy, hold on a minute. I'll be okay. Give me a minute to catch my breath. Alright. What are you doing? What, do you want a piggy-back? Get the door. Anthony... Don't let me go to my grave with this guilt. You listen to me, you old prick, you're not going anywhere. Make things right with your mother, please.

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Episode #15 Transcript Do Not Resuscitate Captioned by HBO Communications Center, ©2000 Home Box Office, a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P. < < Page 1 Page 2		Images are not thumbnails, so fuhgeddaboutit!
Thanks for this, aunt Par, it's hard to find people over 25 to drive with. Just don't let them know you drove me to buy some pot, which should be legal. It's the only things that works for these hands. Med, wasn't that a stop sign? I just hate the way he thinks he can talk to you. It's so obnoxious. He's insecure. He's afraid to leave new jersey and he's threatened by anybody who's broken free. He's too pathetic. How about grandma in that rehab center? I know, I'm dying to go over and see her, but I've had so much homework, plus all this community service you have to do to even think about getting into a decent college. I bring food to homeless shelters. You know grandma pretty well, don't you? I guess. What is she into? I don't know, negativity? Seriously, there must be something that gives her pleasure. Isn't there anything she likes doing? My dad used to try and find her these old records, these sisters. Oh, the de castro sisters, right. The andrews sisters would have been too easy. He used to bring her that mario lasagna guy. Oh, yuck, I hated that shit.
Your glasses will be ready on thursday. (Female) thursday, that's good. Did you see me on tv? You were on tv? What show? The evening news. Oh, yeah. What about it? How'd I look? Be honest. You looked, you know, like you. You looked good. I didn't like the way I looked. Maybe I should get new frames, what do you think? What's wrong with them? How much those frames set you back? Insurance pays, I never see the bill. Nice country. I got cataracts. My father told me "never get old." I should have listened to him. Yeah. A chinaman goes to see the eye doctor, after the exam the doctor says, "i know why you're having trouble." Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor says, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a rincoln continental." You don't get it? I get it, he drives lincoln. What? (Male) excuse me, where's the men's room? (Female) through the doors to the left.
(Pavarotti singing) you're awake. What-- what is that? That music? "Non ti scordar di me." Pavarotti. Did you bring it? I never forgot how much you liked a good tenor. Remember when we saw mario lanza on tv? You and me and daddy on the sofa, watching ed sullivan. I don't think we ever missed a sunday. Oh, my god, my children. Music hath charms, ma. Thank god, huh?
I think it's time for you to start to seriously consider salads. What do you mean? What do I mean. Get off my car before you flip it over, you fat fuck. Junior wants to know when. Tomorrow morning. We're short a couple of guys, so make sure you're there. Consider it exercise. "Fat fuck." Why don't you look in the mirror some time, you insensitive cocksucker.
Tony, we're sitting down! Ma, DNA, it's invisible, right? But guess how many nucleotides are in each strand. Just tell her. A hundred million. Wow, that's amazing. She knows what time we eat. I don't want you setting a place for her if she's not here. Anthony jr., Want to do the honors? Bless us our lord on the gifts we're about to receive... Hello! You guys started without me. Good, great. Bless us our lord, amen. Janice, you know what time we eat. If you're gonna be late, call, or you're not gonna eat. Don't send me to bed hungry, daddy. Everybody, guess who passed her driving test today? She learned from the best. (Janice) go, girl! I had to parallel park behind this van and I was so nervous. The guy was a real dork with a clipboard and everything. Oh, wow, fascist martinet. Salsice, janice? Oh, I forgot, you don't eat pork... No. ... In that way. Oh, I get it. There's nothing to get, she's a vegetarian.
I missed the fireflies out west. That's why I moved out here. Little bit of nature. When you were in seattle, you ever drive by jimmy hendrix's house? Mm-mmm. You know, tony, I know it's not your favorite subject, but... We had some really great news about ma at the hospital today. Her rehab therapist says she's making tremendous strides and it's not gonna be long before they release her. How can she make tremendous strides when there's nothing wrong with her in the first place? It's called face-saving therapy. The patient has to believe that they're getting therapy. Believe me, medicare's not gonna pay for it if it's not as necessary as real, would they? And the taxpayer foots the bill. It's not much longer now. But she's gonna need a place to stay. She's out on the street. Tony, it is her house. Dead people don't have houses. Daddy bought that house. Tell you what... Take her back to green grove. What, the nursing home? It's a retirement community. You know I don't have that kind of money. Fuck you.
(Protesters chanting) you should've seen the look on that blimp's face when I told him he had to be here today. Bacala's always been a lazy bastard. You can't get nobody good anymore. They're either on fucking drugs or compromised with the law, or they're young and don't listen to orders. Please. It's all "me, me, me". I hope you don't feel that way about me, tony. It's just this back. You done plenty. You paid your dues. That's tony soprano. What the fuck? Hey, tony! This is what i'm talking about, motherfucker. Am I supposed to be seen here, you fucking idiots?! Now we look like jerkoffs. (Protesters yelling) get out of the way! When do we want 'em?! We want to talk to your foreman. You want to talk to the foreskin? You a wise-ass motherfucker. Keep your mother off the streets and I won't fuck her. (Yelling) justice... Motherfucker, c'mon! (Truck honking)
Hi, ma. Oh, nicholas antonelli. Dead at age 73, of heart failure. Mmm... So, ma... You're gonna be getting out of here soon. Want to go home? Home? Back to the house? My house? Uh-huh. No, I don't think so, I'll go back to the other place. To the nursing home? That's for people who don't have anybody to look after them. Oh, it's not that bad. And they give you fresh towels every day. Barbara said you hated it. It's too much trouble. No, ma, you can't go back there. Why not? Because. Because, it's dangerous there. What are you talking about? The owner... Is missing. Mr. Capuano? They suspect foul play. Yeah. (Coughing) ma. Ma, you okay? Nurse! It's my mother. What is it? What's the matter? Are you okay, mrs. Soprano? Oh. Take a deep breath. Breathe. Why do they make cookies that way? You scared me, ma. Would you just stop it, stop it! Just give me a minute, go, go, stop hovering. Perhaps this is a good time to talk about this. There's no emergency provision for your mother on file. I tried to talk to her about a dnr and she got very agitated. DNR? "Do not resuscitate." It's to save the family a lot of anguish and decisions at a difficult time, when there is no quality of life. (Livia) janice, where are my glasses? I can't find the tissues, janice!
I'm sorry, tony, but the hospital is gonna need a decision on this. Auxiliary "b", what the fuck? It you're gonna have power of attorney, tony, you're gonna have to act like one. Who gives a fuck, DNR, no DNR? Yeah, okay, great, so then what happens when she goes into a coma and they have to keep her alive with tubes and machines, because you won't sign the dnr? What?! When she becomes a vegetable she's not gonna give a fuck about anything! To deprive your mother of a place of live. To deprive me my chance to make peace with my mother. You know what, janice? Take her, you can have her. The two of you in that house, you deserve each other. It'll be worth it just to watch. It'll be like whatever happened to baby janice over there. (Tony) I'll give you your fucking DNR!
Mom, I can't find the keys. Keys to what, to the car? You got a driver's license, not a license to go carousing around on a school night. Mother, I was going to take anthony to visit grandma. You said we can visit her. If you want to drive us, fine. Now you want to visit grandma? (A.J.) Can we mom? No funny business. You go to the hospital and back. The level of trust in this family, check the mileage if you want to. God. You go ahead, I'll come down later. Why, where are you going? Hunter's back in "eating disorders" upstairs. No, that's not fair. I'm just gonna say hello. I'm telling. I was gonna let you drive in the IBM parking lot this sunday. (Cheering on tv) look who's here! Anthony, come over here. Give your grandma a kiss. Oh... Ah... I thought you were janice. She comes over everyday to play pinochle with me. Daughters take better care of their mothers, that's why. She's home, I think. You didn't ride over here on your bicycle in the dark? No, meadow drove me. Meadow? Well, where is she? I don't know. She's another one. They don't care what happens to you, johnny. They stick you away somewhere and they forget you ever existed. I guess. Have a torrone. No, I don't like those italian candies. Go ahead, take one. He's not even washing his hands. (Male on tv) you know the thing about louisiana food, is that it's not really spicy, it's just well seasoned. Don't we season everything down there? Absolutely. So what we're gonna do is I got a little cayenne pepper... Grandma, what's DNR? Who? DNR, it's initials, like, I had to do this report on dna, but I heard dad and aunt parvati talking about your dnr. So, is that like similar? Aunt? You mean, janice? Janice? They were talking about me? About your DNR. 'Cause that's what's confusing, like, DNA, everybody's got that. She thinks I should have a DNR? Or that dad should give it to you or something. Because what if you went into a coma or something? But DNA doesn't prevent coma's, does it? I don't know, I gotta do this report by monday.
Very good, livia, that's perfect. I know my alphabet. Guess what, ma? I got great news. Tony's not gonna sell the house. When you get released, we're gonna take you back home. Really? Yeah. And I'm gonna live with you. Why? So you cannot resuscitate me? So I can what? Oh, I seen that movie with richard widmark. Movie, ma? Oh, mrs. Soprano. No, take this one. She gets her ballet shoes, she sells them and she takes the money to newark, and she buys amphetamines. She was a child then. I think you should go live with your daughter, mrs. Soprano. I think I'm gonna leave all my money to you, honey. What are you talking about, money? I've gotta catch up on some charts. Janice, what'd I tell you last week? Where'd I put my money? You know, this is very important. I must have put it somewhere. Oh, c'mon, settimia. No, you don't fool me. I know what you're thinking about. My name's janice. Janice, ma. You named me. It's something else you threw away of mine. Are you sure? I didn't tell you where I put that money? Let's not worry about that. Let's just get you better so you can go home and I can take good care of you. And if it's there... We'll find it. (Humming) your sister's cunt!
(Gospel singing) that was wonderful reverend,thank you. Now you call us if you need anything. Thank you. Goodnight. What's all this? My father's passed away. I was just talking to him. He lived well. God blessed him with longevity. What are you gonna do? We all will have our time. My father didn't know about our business arrangement. He wouldn't have approved. Yeah, I got that feeling. Your moms and pop still here? My old man's been gone for years. Moms? She still around, she's too miserable to die. Their generation's almost all gone. When the last one goes, we become the old folks at the family functions. What are you talking about? We're still fucking kids, for crying out loud. Don't you believe it, tony. When the last one dies, it signals the beginning of the last stretch for us. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to go no time soon, it's just... Just feels funny now being... An elder. This is your end of the demonstration bust-up. Your guys went a little too far. Rasheen taylor almost lost an eye. How'd you do overall? Masserone gave me five no-shows. We whack it up two and a half each. Three-two. I should be looking for three-two my way. I got to kick upstairs to uncle junior. Two and a half each. All your guys are in on this shit. These protesters find out I'm lining my pockets with their blood, it's me they're crying for. Hell, no, three-two. I'll think about it. What'd you hear about the public school asbestos removal project over in kearney? Just waiting to see who gets the bid. Alright. Hey, rev... Sorry about your old man. (Phone) hello. He did? Where is he know?
(Phone) hello? Oh, you're home. How dare you call here. I called now on purpose. Because I know Johnny's at work. Anthony, your son, Anthony. He harbors resentment against me and to this day I don't know what I did. I'm hanging up. I just want you to know what pennies I have, I leave to the children. Your children and barbara's children. I raised three children of my own. I did a pretty good job on two. They are all unhappy. Sure, you listen to that janice. Be very careful, because she's a real snake in the grass. She has no work ethic, why is that? If anything happens to me... Hello? Hello? Oh.
(Knocking) where is he? Did you call an ambulance? I don't need no fucking ambulance. (Bacala) see? Oh, yeah, sure, look at you. C'mon, we're going to the emergency room. Fuck that, I'm alright. Why don't we just go down there and make sure? Uncle jun. Hey... You still here? No fucking ambulance. I'll drive you, okay? Bacala will come. Yeah, sure. We'll all go. Help me up. Can you walk? I think he broke his hip. Oh, fuck you. Take it easy, hold on a minute. I'll be okay. Give me a minute to catch my breath. Alright. What are you doing? What, do you want a piggy-back? Get the door. Anthony... Don't let me go to my grave with this guilt. You listen to me, you old prick, you're not going anywhere. Make things right with your mother, please.
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