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Episode #11 Transcript
Nobody Knows Anything
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©1999 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.

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so fuhgeddaboutit!

(Knocking) come in. Mr. Soprano. Are you busy? No, no, no, come in. Please. I was in the neighborhood, figured I'd stop by. See my mother. Brought her some mario lanza. She... Loves the old guys. I'm a little worried about her. She's always been depressed. Sometimes these half-ass tenors can really do the trick. You know where she is? She's not in her room. I wanted to tell her, her house went into escrow. She's with the other girls getting aqua therapy. My mother? The physical therapist told her if she didn't get any exercise her back was gonna arch like an old lady. I didn't know she owned a bathing suit. She's more connected to the world. Which one? This one or neptune? No really. I think your uncle's visits has a lot to do with it. She looks forward to them. (Phone ringing) could you excuse me one moment? Yeah sure. You know... Just tell her her house sold and they accepted the offer. Okay, yeah, I'll be right there.


(Horn honks to the "godfather" theme) follow me. Where? It's a surprise. C'mon, you hard-on, before we get a ticket. Paulie, I've been here before. What the fuck you want? Look around, i'll give ya three guesses. C'mon, down here. We'll grab a rub down after. Here. I don't know. C'mon get undressed, it's on me. Why do you think those russian leaders live so long? They take a schvitz every day. I can'T. Now don't be like that. It's a gift. Take your clothes off. What, you want me to turn around? The doctor said heat's no good for me. I got to avoid it. That's why I sit in the shade. What the fuck you talking about? Heat is good for your back. Take your clothes off. Look paulie, I appreciate it. But maybe another time. Take your clothes off. You're fucking crazy, I'm going home. Why don't you want to take your clothes off? I got high blood pressure you fucking idiot. I go in there I can check the fuck out. My doctor mentioned steam and sauna specifically as no-no'S. He said stay the fuck away from heat. Thanks for the thought. But get out of my fucking face.


What you find out? It's good. It's fucking very good. Spit it out. He's into pussy, big. I mean with a capital "b". This fucking makasian, he's a lying motherfucker. He's into pussy for like 30 large. 20 grand just on football. The rest is shy. Pussy must be burying this prick in vig alone. Doesn't mean he's a liar. Just means he's got a reason to see pussy dead. It buys him time. Could this prick have the balls to try something like this? Hey we're talking about 30 grand here. I don't want to think about what me and you would do to remove that debt. Wouldn't bet football. I got to think about this. Look... T. If my vote counts for anything. I cannot believe that pussy would fear the can enough to hurt his friends. That's what they said about gravano. Alright go back in I got to think.
 

Deb? Debbie? Take it easy. I would think a whore would like a little pain. Vinny stop it. C'mon let's get the show on the road. Look at this. A doctor, madame, wiseguy and a cop. That's what I call a vice superfecta.
 

(Tv) the four were arrested last night. A police spokesman says that the officer in question will be placed on administrative leave, pending outcome of a hearing set for this morning. I'd hate to have been there when he got home. I don't know which is more embarrassing: To be caught in a bordello or to be caught with the wiseguy. Meanwhile there was a fire... Asshole. What's a bordello? It's a fancy name for a whorehouse. Don't start, okay? It is. Yeah, I know it is I just don't like that talk. This country is light years behind the rest of the world. Most civilized countries have legalized prostitution. Don't you have somewhere to be? I mean it's a joke, look at what they're putting the president through. He deserved what he got. He got monica kasinski and the broad with the long nose. I just don't think sex should be a punishable offense. You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think that talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. No more sex talk, okay? It's the '90's, parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children. Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. Out there it's the 1990's but in this house it's 1954. 1990's - 1954. So now and forever, I don't want to hear anymore sex talk, okay? What's with him?
 


C'mon, goddamnit! C'mon, let's go! Let's go! Let's go! (Horn) go right ahead, detective. Excuse me, move it out please. Got a police officer here. Let's go. Pull up. C'mon. Police vehicle, coming through.
 

Are you sure? Who told you this? What? Yeah. Yeah i'm still here. Alright thanks. I'll talk to you later. You gonna tell me? The fucking jerk did a header off the route one bridge. Who? Makasian. Fuck! There goes our only shot to find out for sure the truth about pussy.
   

If it matters... He always said how much he respected you. It matters. He helped me out of a lot of jams. Not just with the law. What the fuck was he thinkin'. He could have kept his job. He might have been suspended, that's all. It wasn't like he was dealing. That's not why he did it. Don't get me wrong. It was the straw. But... He was not happy. With himself. How he turned out. What did he come here for, therapy? You can say that. Instead of a couch you use a bed? That's not a bad deal. Hey, who wouldn't want to sleep with their shrink? What does that mean? You would be amazed how much easier it is to open up when you're naked, in the arms of someone who cares for you. Did he ever mention anything about my guys to you? He didn't like paulie, he thought he was a psycho. What about pussy? He really didn't have much to say about any of you guys. Except that he owed some money. But he wasn't worried because you liked him and... As long as he had you in his corner there was nothing really to worry about. I'm not gonna lie because he's dead. He didn't have a good thing to say about anybody. But, he did feel like he could trust you, tony. He said many times that "at least with tony soprano, you know where you stand."
 


(Knocking) livia, open up, it's junior. C'mon in, it's open. What's going on? My dominican girl said you called me. Well... He sold the house. Don't people have names anymore? Who's he? Anthony. He sold my house. The home my husband and I made. What else were they gonna do with it? You too. Hey... I suppose he would have found it harder to have his meetings at my house. Then in this nursing home. What are you talking about? Meetings? Don't think I'll ever see any of that money either. What meetings? Raymond, larry. That sneak from manhattan. Johnny sack, johnny sack was here? With his mohair suits and his shoe lifts. Suits? Plural? More than once he was here? Why didn't I know about this? Well maybe it was you they were talking about. Who knows. I just don't like being put in the middle of things. I should have known something was strange when suddenly larry boy's mother moved in here. Then jimmy altieri's mother. Three of my capo's have their mothers in this place? Instead of living in normal homes with their sons, like human beings. This must be some kind of fuckin' end move. What do they think, I'm stupid? We'll see. Now wait a minute. I don't like that kind of talk. Now just stop it, it upsets me. I won't tell you anything anymore. If this is true livia you know what I... I mean. I'm the boss for christ sake. If I don't act, blood or no-- I have to. Oh, god. What did I say now? I suppose I should have just kept my mouth shut like a mute. Then everybody would have been happy.
 


(Doorbell) anthony go see who's at the door. I'm eating. You won't have any teeth left to eat with if you don't get up off your ass and go see who's at the door. Make sure you know who it is before you answer it. Who is coming at dinner time? People can't call. It's uncle jimmy. Uncle jimmy. Let him in. I don't believe it. How'd you get out? Carm, look who's here. It's jimmy, he's out. My god. Jimmy. Thought you'd never see me again, huh carm? What happened? Long story, you got some place in private we can talk? Yeah, in the basement.
 

What's going on? You got a problem. Yeah I know. I'm working on it. Working on what? Why, what were you gonna say? You better lay low with that safe house money. What are you talking about? They were asking me a lot of questions in there. If I knew anything about the dead colombian in the apartment and all that. You look good. Thanks, I wasn't gone that long. Yeah. Yeah I know. My lawyer told him, he doesn't own the building, he's not responsible for what's in the building. I told them the pool table was there when I first rented the joint. Good thinking. Missed your calling, should have been a lawyer. Please. Enough people hate me. So... What are you gonna do about the colombian money? They were putting the screws to me like I was a school kid. Telling me that the money was marked. They even said, that there's a new fingerprint technique that lifts it right off the bills. You're a lucky man jimmy. What do you mean? Well you're out on bail on that conspiracy thing, right? Yeah, so? So only a lucky prick like you would get pinched with a gun while he's on bail for something else and still be out in time for dinner. You're a lucky guy. Speaking of dinner, carmela's got some lasagna upstairs, you want some? C'mon i'll pass. I still got a few people to see that are late with payments. I got to make sure they see my face otherwise they think they're off the hook. Yeah. I know how that is.


Get off the phone. I got to go. What's up? It's jimmy. It's fucking jimmy. What? The wire, it's fucking jimmy! What are you talking about? The wire. You understand, the wire. It's fucking jimmy. Holy shit. New fingerprint technique. I should have killed him in my fucking basement. Makasian's guy got his facts crossed. They both got busted at the same fucking time. Jimmy and pussy. You understand? Two fat fucks with black hair. Where the fuck is paulie? He called an hour ago. I swear to god he said he's on his way. Why the fuck isn't he here now? Jesus, tony. You don't think... Paulie jumped the gun? Shut up, god forbid. God forbid. Don't talk like that. Where's pussy? Get him on the phone. Get him on the phone. Alright. I haven't seen him since paulie took him to the schvitz. Hey fellas. Where the fuck have you been? I've been calling you all night long! I was at my gummar's. I told sylvio I was coming. You answer me like i'm jesus christ himself. And if you fucking lie to me may your mother die of cancer of the eyes. Where's pussy? I don't know. Don't you fucking lie to me. Tony. Did you do it? Tony-- don't fucking lie to me. Did you do it? No. Did you fucking do it? No. Did you fucking do it? I said no! Now get your fuckin' hands off me. C'mon, tony. I'm sorry paulie. I can't find pussy anywhere. Nobody knows anything. I haven't seen him since the schvitz. Last thing he said to me was "go fuck yourself." Did he at least take the schvitz? He refused to take his clothes off. The rat. It's fucking jimmy. Fuck it, let's all have a drink.


Here we go. Here we go. Alright. Hey babe. Look what chucky brought us. Another kitchen appliance. Whoop-fuckin'-pi. Well slit your wrist, why don't you? Truckload fell off the loading dock at zim's last night. Not even a braun. It's a braun babe. Junior said for me to tell you. He's decided on that thing. He said we should look out of town for who's gonna do it. Finally. Yeah. It's gonna be a busy month. I'll see you, mike. See you later, chucky. I'll see you, jo. Yeah, see you. What was that sick fuck talking about? Mind your business. Whatever it is mikey, we're going to vegas next month. I already lined up child care for francis albert. So, I don't want to hear it. Forget it, something's come up. Something always comes up. This is a good something. Hope it means more money because I need a new car. Trust me, this goes down, you're gonna have a new car and then some. Can you tell me? C'mon mikey tell me. Uh-huh. C'mon please. I may be getting bumped up a notch or two. Tony soprano's on his way out and I mean as in forever. Oh, my god. He's going to jail? No, the other forever. Does junior know? Listen to me... If you breathe a word of this to anybody they're gonna be burying me and you right next to tony soprano, you understand? Yeah. Make a decaf. You don't belittle a man like junior soprano. He's old school. You don't joke about cunt lapping. You definitely don't spill your guts out of to a fuckin' shrink about business that isn't yours to talk about. Tony soprano sees a shrink? You fuckin' believe that? And to add insult to injury, he was planning on making a move against jr. His own uncle? Were you this fucking stupid when I married you? Fuck you. No fuck you. What are you doing standing there, make the coffee. Take it easy. Take it easy. It's brewing.


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