The Sopranos - Closed Captions - #6

Episode #6 Transcript
Pax Soprana
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©1999 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.
< < Page 1 Page 2
Images are not thumbnails,
so fuhgeddaboutit!

Mr. Soprano.
You want sex? No... Go back to sleep.

Y'know you have a nice body. You ought to make it work for you more. Oh, really? Yeah, you reveal too much. You don't want other men looking at me? No, when you're not with me, you do what you want. But I'm sayin', maybe you could wear a nice businesslike outfit. I think I could get into that. You want me to dress like a man? No, no, you fuckin' whackadoo, I don't want you to dress like a man. I'm just sayin' maybe wear something a little more professional. You know, like you're in business. Fuck you, tony, I'm no whore. No, that's not what I mean. Not like you're in the whore business, forget it. C'mere. Is everybody in my life bananas or what? Get over here! Go jerk off. Yeah, go jerk off.

Look at this, she burned me. That's not good. What lead up to that? Carmela can be pretty violent sometimes. This added problem that i've been having, that we talked about, I just thought maybe we need to spice thing up a little. If it's not the prozac then maybe I just needed a little jump-start. So I suggest to her maybe to dress a little different. Something titillating. Yeah, maybe it'd might help. So I suggested to her, not demanded, suggested, maybe dress a little sexier. But carmela can be very sensitive. Maybe she felt it degraded her. Not all women aren't into sexy lingerie. I'm not talkin' about dressing like that. Then what are we talking about? Some women are sexier when the dress simple. You know, understated. I don't mean... Fuck it, I don't know what I mean. Like you. How like me? You play it down. It's obvious you have a killer body under there. But don't get me wrong. Alright. Not only do you play it down, but you're gentle. Not loud, sweet sounding. Like a mandolin. Anthony... It's unfortunate that we have to stop now, because it's really important that we talk about this. Do you think you could come back later this afternoon? No. 'Til tuesday. Okay? Yeah, alright. See you tuesday.

(Glass breaking) (yelling) it's the oddest thing. I've had this problem for weeks, but this morning, I get in, and it starts right up. And again at the deli. Looks fine. Are you sure? I was told I need a new starter. Lady, as much as I might wish to rob you, even I wouldn't try to replace a new starter with another. What do you mean "new"? New, it has everything but the price tag hanging from it.

C'mon mikey, I didn't do nothing. Yeah, poor kid committed suicide 'cause of you. C'mon you fuckin' know me. Yeah, I know you. Now listen to me, listen to me boy. Listen to me. I'm gonna give you a break. I'm gonna give you a break. When I toss you over... If you can fly, I won't shoot you down. Deal? My goodness. What happened here? Some sad shit. Motherfucker said he didn't want to live no more. He jumped. How much he give you?

I thought I was the only one junior could make look like that. Alright, let me hear it. Rusty irish. What about him? He took a header off the falls. That's the closest that junkie fuck ever got to a bath. Yeah well, I got news for you. That junkie fuck was my biggest earner. During the football season he moved more cards than 10 guys put together. Another thing, a certain friend of ours should have checked with me before he did a favor for the ol' man capri. You're losin' me. Irish was the one who sold capri's grandson that shit. I think you created a fuckin' frankenstein in junior. I created? We all agreed to let junior have his day. Let him be the lightening rod, and when lightening strikes, god forbid, and somebody goes down, it's not a young man with a family, you remember this? We all agreed. Yeah, we agreed. But who the fuck expected to get raped over here? I mean when jackie was acting boss no one minded 'cause it all evened out at the end of the day. But our uncle, does he eat alone. He doesn't even pass the salt. What about that sammy grigio's card game? That fuckin' mikey smacked him around. That ain't right. C'mon, jimmy, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Junior was right, he had a position. That game wasn't paying anybody. The minute sammy grigio used jimmy's name, it should have been end of story. That's right. What do you want me to do? Hey, we made our bed, we sleep in it. We're all men. But how long we gonna continue to kick upstairs without it hurting? I mean something, anything, should trickle down over here, no? All we want you to do is, talk to him. After all, he's your uncle. That's right.

Who is it? It's me, ma. Who? Anthony. Open the door. I thought you were the activities lady. She's a real pain in the ass. Playing bingo, livia? Not tonight honey. She's a degenerate gambler. Millie, millie? My son. Handsome. So how's it going? Oh, what can I say? This is great. Only thing that's missing is that broken reading lamp you had by the phone at home. And I got it downstairs, I can bring it if you want. Listen, she's driving my crazy. Who? Next door, there it is again. (Water running) that's enough water. How much water does she need? She runs the water all day. Water, water, water... I'm living next door to gunga din. I went down to ferrara's, I got you some biscotts. Almonds? Yeah. Alright, leave them there. I'll take them downstairs later for my coffee. Uncle jun' been by? Once in a while. It makes him uncomfortable here. He's got a lot on his mind. More responsibilities means more headaches. Better men than him had to work hard. Yeah, he'll be alright. As long as he remembers who his friends are. I'd hate to see him mess this up. He's been waiting a long time for the big chair. What do you mean? It's not a business that forgives bad decisions. I hate to see him making wrong moves. You know, especially at the start of the game. Why you telling me? Tell him. Mom, you got his ear. He listens to you. I don't know that world. No, of course not. But, if anything, you know were to come up, that's all. I don't want to get involved. If you have something to say to your uncle, bring it up to him. I wish the lord would take me. C'mon, ma. You know there's probably plenty of nice gents in this place that want a date with a lovely young woman like you. Look, I'm going downstairs. I'm going downstairs before that activities lady finds me. You want coffee? Yeah, alright. Bring the cookies.

Carmela, I don't want to sound like religion is a cure-all, but I think if tony would get more involved with the church, it may help to expedite things in his therapy. What's killing me is this is a self-inflicted wound. I pushed for it. I could deal with the goomas. I know I was better than them. Stupid as it sounds I viewed them as a form of masturbation for him. I couldn't give him what he needed all the time. You're a man, father, you know that thirst. I was too busy with the house and kids to quench it. But this psychiatrist, she's not just a gooma. For the first time I feel like he's really cheating and i'm the one who's thirsty. I'm not gonna stay in a marriage that's made of... Shh, let's not even think about that. Divorce is for the weak, for the people who never intended on dying married in the first place. You know, carm, we reap what we sow. What do you mean? You admit to accepting his dalliances in the past. Skee-foozas, they meant nothing to tony. But you said it was like they were lightening the workload. Providing a wife's duty when you were too busy with the kids and the house. You practically welcomed it. I want you to pray to our holy mother, ask her for guidance and forgiveness, so you can get through this as a couple. You're not without sin in this, carmela.

Yeah, so she's out of control. She's spending money like we're the soprano's of park avenue. But you noticed her which may have been the point. Look, before we run out of time, I'd like to discuss what happened when we were here last week. How's your car? Did you steal my car and have it fixed? We had an agreement, no gifts. I didn't want to see you get robbed. It was you. You had no right to steal my car. I've been scared to death. Why? Why, it's a violation of my privacy ! What else have you done? Answer me. I love you. Anthony. I'm in love with you. I'm sorry. It's just the way it is. Okay, let me talk. Nope, it's not the prozac. I dream about you. I think about you all the time. I can't get excited about any other woman. There's nothing else to say. I love you. Let me start here. I know this may be very hard for you to swallow, but you're only feeling this way because we've made such progress. What? I've been gentle, that's my job. I listen, that's what I do best. I've been a broad, generic, sympathetic, woman to you, because that's what this work calls for. You've made me all of the things you feel are missing in your wife. And in your mother. You're making me out to be some fuckin' mama's boy. I'm a man, and you're a woman. End of story. And this crap about freud, and every boy wanted to have sex with his mother, that's not gonna fly here. I didn't say that. I want to make sure we understand each other. Yeah, we understand each other. You don't love me. You don't want me to come back anymore, fine. It's quite the opposite. This is all a byproduct of progress. Has someone been following me? Okay, forget it. I'll see you next week.

Let's go... Listen, uncle junior, remember... I always thought you could make the pros. You could have done it. You had a swing like joe d. You're crazy. What, you think i'm shittin' you? Yeah, I could barely hit 250. That's because you didn't want it. Too busy chasing skirt. Chasing skirt your average was 500. Yeah, what happened? What is it you wanted to talk about? Octavian. You know, augustus. You fuckin' with me? No, octavian became augustus. Forget about that. Bottom line-- augustus was a caesar. And everybody loved him, right? You know why? I don't know nor do I give a fuck. Everybody loved him 'cause he never ate alone. Capisce. It was the longest time of peace in rome's history. He was a fair leader. And all his people loved him for that. This the one that they stabbed in the back? No, that was julius, I'm talkin' about augustus. He shared his wealth, and all his people loved him. You said that three fucking times. I heard it, his people loved him. What's your fucking point? Remember the story you told me about the father bull talkin' to his son. They're on this hill looking down at a bunch of cows. The son goes to the father, "dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" You remember what the father said? Father said "son, why don't walk down there and fuck them all." I told you that? Why don't we fuck them all? That's funny. Okay, I get your point. But why didn't you come out with it instead of all this fuckin' augustus/octavian shit. Are you okay? You've been acting mezzo morte lately. I ain't seen a long face like that since you were a kid. I'm okay, it's just bullshit stuff. Don't worry about it. You sure? Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.

Junior took the 250 you gave him and whacked it up amongst the top five guys. You know, so he doesn't look greedy. Smart move. Your uncle may turn out to be another harry truman. What's that mean? Truman had a big job thrust upon him. He didn't want it but in the end he made some pretty wise decisions. So, who knows? Your uncle may turn out to be the right man for the job. I fucking hope so. 'Cause I tell you right now, I don't want the fucking job. Let junior die from the stress. That's what gave jackie the cancer, god rest his soul. Boss, fuck it, who needs it? It's nice here. I can't stand the smell. Shit, flies all over the place. But I could stand here for hours and watch them run around. There's a kind of beauty to it. I envy them. I wouldn't go that far. I would. They got no bills, no headaches. No family cazzi's running around. When a horse likes another horse, they go up to each other, they fuck, that's it. No problems, no 100 questions, no guilt. I don't know what the fuck i'm talking about. So junior whacked up my money and he's gonna spread it around, huh? Five bosses, 50 a pop. Not a bad day's pay. Still I wish it wasn't your money. Makes me feel terrible. What? You old fucking jew. Here's my share. You think I'm gonna profit off your tax? Never entered my mind.

Dr. Melfi. There's nothing there, you know. You don't have to explain nothing, tony. This psychiatrist shit. Apparently what you're feeling is not what you're feeling. And what you're not feeling is your real agenda. You're gonna stick with it, right? I don't know. I think you should. You do? Uh-huh. I was jealous. I should have told you... Wait, let me finish, tony. I've been thinking a lot about this. I was jealous of her ability to help you. To be sort of salvation to you. I talked to father phil and, I want to be that woman in your life. Carm, you're not just in my life, you are my life. Come here.

I'm no good at speeches. Yeah, you owe him a dime, you'll hear some great speeches. Shut up, you hard on, let me talk. Go ahead, talk, I was only kidding. Go ahead. I'd like everybody to raise their glass. Okay. Taught me as much as anybody. Except for maybe my father. Even if he wasn't my uncle, I'd be standing here saying, to our new boss, salute. To junior. Junior. To junior. Salute.

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Episode #6 Transcript Pax Soprana Captioned by HBO Communications Center, ©1999 Home Box Office, a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P. < < Page 1 Page 2		Images are not thumbnails, so fuhgeddaboutit!
Mr. Soprano. You want sex? No... Go back to sleep.
Y'know you have a nice body. You ought to make it work for you more. Oh, really? Yeah, you reveal too much. You don't want other men looking at me? No, when you're not with me, you do what you want. But I'm sayin', maybe you could wear a nice businesslike outfit. I think I could get into that. You want me to dress like a man? No, no, you fuckin' whackadoo, I don't want you to dress like a man. I'm just sayin' maybe wear something a little more professional. You know, like you're in business. Fuck you, tony, I'm no whore. No, that's not what I mean. Not like you're in the whore business, forget it. C'mere. Is everybody in my life bananas or what? Get over here! Go jerk off. Yeah, go jerk off.
Look at this, she burned me. That's not good. What lead up to that? Carmela can be pretty violent sometimes. This added problem that i've been having, that we talked about, I just thought maybe we need to spice thing up a little. If it's not the prozac then maybe I just needed a little jump-start. So I suggest to her maybe to dress a little different. Something titillating. Yeah, maybe it'd might help. So I suggested to her, not demanded, suggested, maybe dress a little sexier. But carmela can be very sensitive. Maybe she felt it degraded her. Not all women aren't into sexy lingerie. I'm not talkin' about dressing like that. Then what are we talking about? Some women are sexier when the dress simple. You know, understated. I don't mean... Fuck it, I don't know what I mean. Like you. How like me? You play it down. It's obvious you have a killer body under there. But don't get me wrong. Alright. Not only do you play it down, but you're gentle. Not loud, sweet sounding. Like a mandolin. Anthony... It's unfortunate that we have to stop now, because it's really important that we talk about this. Do you think you could come back later this afternoon? No. 'Til tuesday. Okay? Yeah, alright. See you tuesday.
(Glass breaking) (yelling) it's the oddest thing. I've had this problem for weeks, but this morning, I get in, and it starts right up. And again at the deli. Looks fine. Are you sure? I was told I need a new starter. Lady, as much as I might wish to rob you, even I wouldn't try to replace a new starter with another. What do you mean "new"? New, it has everything but the price tag hanging from it.
C'mon mikey, I didn't do nothing. Yeah, poor kid committed suicide 'cause of you. C'mon you fuckin' know me. Yeah, I know you. Now listen to me, listen to me boy. Listen to me. I'm gonna give you a break. I'm gonna give you a break. When I toss you over... If you can fly, I won't shoot you down. Deal? My goodness. What happened here? Some sad shit. Motherfucker said he didn't want to live no more. He jumped. How much he give you?
I thought I was the only one junior could make look like that. Alright, let me hear it. Rusty irish. What about him? He took a header off the falls. That's the closest that junkie fuck ever got to a bath. Yeah well, I got news for you. That junkie fuck was my biggest earner. During the football season he moved more cards than 10 guys put together. Another thing, a certain friend of ours should have checked with me before he did a favor for the ol' man capri. You're losin' me. Irish was the one who sold capri's grandson that shit. I think you created a fuckin' frankenstein in junior. I created? We all agreed to let junior have his day. Let him be the lightening rod, and when lightening strikes, god forbid, and somebody goes down, it's not a young man with a family, you remember this? We all agreed. Yeah, we agreed. But who the fuck expected to get raped over here? I mean when jackie was acting boss no one minded 'cause it all evened out at the end of the day. But our uncle, does he eat alone. He doesn't even pass the salt. What about that sammy grigio's card game? That fuckin' mikey smacked him around. That ain't right. C'mon, jimmy, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Junior was right, he had a position. That game wasn't paying anybody. The minute sammy grigio used jimmy's name, it should have been end of story. That's right. What do you want me to do? Hey, we made our bed, we sleep in it. We're all men. But how long we gonna continue to kick upstairs without it hurting? I mean something, anything, should trickle down over here, no? All we want you to do is, talk to him. After all, he's your uncle. That's right.
Who is it? It's me, ma. Who? Anthony. Open the door. I thought you were the activities lady. She's a real pain in the ass. Playing bingo, livia? Not tonight honey. She's a degenerate gambler. Millie, millie? My son. Handsome. So how's it going? Oh, what can I say? This is great. Only thing that's missing is that broken reading lamp you had by the phone at home. And I got it downstairs, I can bring it if you want. Listen, she's driving my crazy. Who? Next door, there it is again. (Water running) that's enough water. How much water does she need? She runs the water all day. Water, water, water... I'm living next door to gunga din. I went down to ferrara's, I got you some biscotts. Almonds? Yeah. Alright, leave them there. I'll take them downstairs later for my coffee. Uncle jun' been by? Once in a while. It makes him uncomfortable here. He's got a lot on his mind. More responsibilities means more headaches. Better men than him had to work hard. Yeah, he'll be alright. As long as he remembers who his friends are. I'd hate to see him mess this up. He's been waiting a long time for the big chair. What do you mean? It's not a business that forgives bad decisions. I hate to see him making wrong moves. You know, especially at the start of the game. Why you telling me? Tell him. Mom, you got his ear. He listens to you. I don't know that world. No, of course not. But, if anything, you know were to come up, that's all. I don't want to get involved. If you have something to say to your uncle, bring it up to him. I wish the lord would take me. C'mon, ma. You know there's probably plenty of nice gents in this place that want a date with a lovely young woman like you. Look, I'm going downstairs. I'm going downstairs before that activities lady finds me. You want coffee? Yeah, alright. Bring the cookies.
Carmela, I don't want to sound like religion is a cure-all, but I think if tony would get more involved with the church, it may help to expedite things in his therapy. What's killing me is this is a self-inflicted wound. I pushed for it. I could deal with the goomas. I know I was better than them. Stupid as it sounds I viewed them as a form of masturbation for him. I couldn't give him what he needed all the time. You're a man, father, you know that thirst. I was too busy with the house and kids to quench it. But this psychiatrist, she's not just a gooma. For the first time I feel like he's really cheating and i'm the one who's thirsty. I'm not gonna stay in a marriage that's made of... Shh, let's not even think about that. Divorce is for the weak, for the people who never intended on dying married in the first place. You know, carm, we reap what we sow. What do you mean? You admit to accepting his dalliances in the past. Skee-foozas, they meant nothing to tony. But you said it was like they were lightening the workload. Providing a wife's duty when you were too busy with the kids and the house. You practically welcomed it. I want you to pray to our holy mother, ask her for guidance and forgiveness, so you can get through this as a couple. You're not without sin in this, carmela.
Yeah, so she's out of control. She's spending money like we're the soprano's of park avenue. But you noticed her which may have been the point. Look, before we run out of time, I'd like to discuss what happened when we were here last week. How's your car? Did you steal my car and have it fixed? We had an agreement, no gifts. I didn't want to see you get robbed. It was you. You had no right to steal my car. I've been scared to death. Why? Why, it's a violation of my privacy ! What else have you done? Answer me. I love you. Anthony. I'm in love with you. I'm sorry. It's just the way it is. Okay, let me talk. Nope, it's not the prozac. I dream about you. I think about you all the time. I can't get excited about any other woman. There's nothing else to say. I love you. Let me start here. I know this may be very hard for you to swallow, but you're only feeling this way because we've made such progress. What? I've been gentle, that's my job. I listen, that's what I do best. I've been a broad, generic, sympathetic, woman to you, because that's what this work calls for. You've made me all of the things you feel are missing in your wife. And in your mother. You're making me out to be some fuckin' mama's boy. I'm a man, and you're a woman. End of story. And this crap about freud, and every boy wanted to have sex with his mother, that's not gonna fly here. I didn't say that. I want to make sure we understand each other. Yeah, we understand each other. You don't love me. You don't want me to come back anymore, fine. It's quite the opposite. This is all a byproduct of progress. Has someone been following me? Okay, forget it. I'll see you next week.
Let's go... Listen, uncle junior, remember... I always thought you could make the pros. You could have done it. You had a swing like joe d. You're crazy. What, you think i'm shittin' you? Yeah, I could barely hit 250. That's because you didn't want it. Too busy chasing skirt. Chasing skirt your average was 500. Yeah, what happened? What is it you wanted to talk about? Octavian. You know, augustus. You fuckin' with me? No, octavian became augustus. Forget about that. Bottom line-- augustus was a caesar. And everybody loved him, right? You know why? I don't know nor do I give a fuck. Everybody loved him 'cause he never ate alone. Capisce. It was the longest time of peace in rome's history. He was a fair leader. And all his people loved him for that. This the one that they stabbed in the back? No, that was julius, I'm talkin' about augustus. He shared his wealth, and all his people loved him. You said that three fucking times. I heard it, his people loved him. What's your fucking point? Remember the story you told me about the father bull talkin' to his son. They're on this hill looking down at a bunch of cows. The son goes to the father, "dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" You remember what the father said? Father said "son, why don't walk down there and fuck them all." I told you that? Why don't we fuck them all? That's funny. Okay, I get your point. But why didn't you come out with it instead of all this fuckin' augustus/octavian shit. Are you okay? You've been acting mezzo morte lately. I ain't seen a long face like that since you were a kid. I'm okay, it's just bullshit stuff. Don't worry about it. You sure? Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.
Junior took the 250 you gave him and whacked it up amongst the top five guys. You know, so he doesn't look greedy. Smart move. Your uncle may turn out to be another harry truman. What's that mean? Truman had a big job thrust upon him. He didn't want it but in the end he made some pretty wise decisions. So, who knows? Your uncle may turn out to be the right man for the job. I fucking hope so. 'Cause I tell you right now, I don't want the fucking job. Let junior die from the stress. That's what gave jackie the cancer, god rest his soul. Boss, fuck it, who needs it? It's nice here. I can't stand the smell. Shit, flies all over the place. But I could stand here for hours and watch them run around. There's a kind of beauty to it. I envy them. I wouldn't go that far. I would. They got no bills, no headaches. No family cazzi's running around. When a horse likes another horse, they go up to each other, they fuck, that's it. No problems, no 100 questions, no guilt. I don't know what the fuck i'm talking about. So junior whacked up my money and he's gonna spread it around, huh? Five bosses, 50 a pop. Not a bad day's pay. Still I wish it wasn't your money. Makes me feel terrible. What? You old fucking jew. Here's my share. You think I'm gonna profit off your tax? Never entered my mind.
Dr. Melfi. There's nothing there, you know. You don't have to explain nothing, tony. This psychiatrist shit. Apparently what you're feeling is not what you're feeling. And what you're not feeling is your real agenda. You're gonna stick with it, right? I don't know. I think you should. You do? Uh-huh. I was jealous. I should have told you... Wait, let me finish, tony. I've been thinking a lot about this. I was jealous of her ability to help you. To be sort of salvation to you. I talked to father phil and, I want to be that woman in your life. Carm, you're not just in my life, you are my life. Come here.
I'm no good at speeches. Yeah, you owe him a dime, you'll hear some great speeches. Shut up, you hard on, let me talk. Go ahead, talk, I was only kidding. Go ahead. I'd like everybody to raise their glass. Okay. Taught me as much as anybody. Except for maybe my father. Even if he wasn't my uncle, I'd be standing here saying, to our new boss, salute. To junior. Junior. To junior. Salute.
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